Aut viam inveniam aut faciam
I’m a HUGEEEEEE Lion King fan.. and I wanted to take my small group to go and see it cuz it’s in theaters for a couple weeks.. but due to conflicting schedules, it doesn’t look like it’s gonna happen. =( I’m sorry that you guys have to miss such an amazing showing. I’m just gonna have to watch without you. Haha.
I know it’s been a while now.. but I still think about you sometimes. It’s nights like tonight that I think about everything I’m doing now and how proud you’d be. I’m so much more than I was back then. I could just imagine the things you’d say and how happy you’d be and in result how happy that would make me. Sometimes I even get the urge to call you up just to tell you about everything. It’s really hard living with reality and accepting that that chapter of my life is over, that you’re not a part of my life anymore. I’m definitely at a better place with all the stuff that happened.. but occasionally, thoughts still come up.. but I can’t help it and it really sucks.
Oh man, God is good. This past Thursday was our first large group and mannn.. it was amazing! There was a huge turnout of new students that came hungry for Jesus. Worship was great too. The highlight of that day (besides getting to meet all the new people) was worship. I’m on the worship team on campus and my worship leader had me pray in between one of the songs. I just prayed what God had put on my heart and after my prayer, I had all these people telling me how great and touching of a prayer it was! Haha. And even tonight, 3 days later, someone actually even texted me.. telling me that it touched their soul so much that they began to cry. She then asked me if I could work with her throughout the semester on prayer. And of course I said yes! Haha. That was really encouraging because I’ve always wanted to be known for my heart to worship and for being a prayer warrior. I even wrote “Worship&Pray” on my arm this weekend at a Conference in California.. just because that’s what I’m passionate for. Oh! And my worship leader also asked me today if I could work on a gospel set and lead it sometime this semester. This semester is gonna be great, I’m entering a time of my life where I’m doing a lot more than just living and going to school. I’m helping mold young minds for Jesus. All this is definitely going to be challenging but I’m definitely excited to see what God has in store for me next.
Reblogged from surferdude182
New York Cityscape (by daveterry)
Come with me, let me show you my home. Let me show you history. Let me show you my life, a view of the city that isn’t in any textbook, magazine, movie, or photograph. Let me show you the city in my mind and through my eyes. Let me show you my city. I promise you.. there’s no other place like it. NYC>LVandOthers
I love the two extreme age spectrums of people. That is, babies and the elderly. Babies are just so precious and enjoyable to be around, that you can’t help but love them. The fact that they are new beings in the world, learning and growing at an exponential rate is just so amazing! Haha. Then there’s just something so endearing about seeing a really old person smile and laugh. I just love it when old people are happy because it shows me that even though they’re coming to the end of their life, they’re still enjoying it. And the mannerisms of old people are just so entertaining! Watching them move slowly but curiously in everything they do. Infants and old people have a certain similarity and that is that they closely examine almost anything they encounter. I just think it’s so amusing to watch. Seeing happy babies and happy old people really makes my day. Haha. I could go on about the things I love about babies and old people.. so ill end it here. Later!
So it’s 1:05am where I’m at now and I’m sitting in the prayer room. When you sit in absolute quiet, listening to the clock tick, you can’t help but think about your life and where you’re at at this point in life. I’m looking at this sign in here and it reads, “Take a moment to reflect… is there anything holding you back from fully following Him and worshipping Him with all your heart?” Thinking about it now, there is nothing I can really think of holding me back besides myself. I think about who am I am now and where I’ve come from and it all makes sense. The things I’ve learned and lost in the past have made me the God-loving man I am today. Just recently I lost the most precious thing to me, the girl I love. I was so angry at the thought but I realize that its all for the better. God gave me chance after chance to have her and when I took her, I put her before Him. So God showed me that He very well can give and take away. I loved God so much but I was so in love with her that I put her on a stage above Him. Now that is not the case. God needs to be my number one love and that’s why this needed to happen. Now I look at myself and the amount I’ve grown, the anger I’ve set aside, the pain that’s been relieved, and I credit that all to my loving heavenly Father. He’s opening doors and opportunities for me to better myself in every way and for me to do the things I love. I’m a leader now in my christian fellowship group at my college. I’m going to lead a multi-ethnic group this upcoming school year. I get to help mold and guide young minds to yearn for God more than I ever did. I started a discipleship with my staff leader to help keep me on track. I’ve been given the opportunity to perform another spoken word piece of mine for a benefit show at a local church. I’ve been asked to be a representative of my christian fellowship group to the greek community on campus. So many doors are opening and it’s all because God set the right pieces in my life to bring me where I am today. I’m not the same person I was years ago, or a month ago, or a week ago, or even day ago. God has used my suffering, my weak points, and has made me stronger in every way. I’m physically, mentally, and spiritually stronger than I have ever been.. and its exciting for me to know that I’m only gonna get better. God has changed me for the better. Although I’m unsure of some things now, I know that from an individual standpoint, I’m getting ready to takeoff and be better than I’ve ever been. I made up a motto, I’m gonna be better than my best. There’s one thing in life that you can’t ever stop doing, that’s learning and bettering yourself through that. My God is great. He’s shown me over and over again that for Him to shine through you, you must be broken. He broke me.. like a cracked pot with a light inside. Now I can feel his love and spirit emanating from me. Even though it hurt a lot for me to be who I am today. I’m thankful for that. And although the future frightens me a little, I’m thankful for the change.
Don’t EVER believe it when someone tells you they love you. Even if they truly believe it themselves.. don’t ever let them convince you. Because nothing is for sure, nothing is set in stone, no matter how promising and real it seems. You’re just setting yourself up for failure, for major heartache, and for possibly being put into suicide watch one day. I’ve had the opportunity to learn that love isn’t real. Women are tricky and evil. Most guys with their heads on straight just want to find that one girl that they can be with the rest of their life. A girl they can bring home to their mom and have her be proud of her. A girl that is everything they want. I found that girl. She was literally my everything. She helped me grow exponentially in the time we’ve been together. She loved a lot of the things I was interested in. Yes, we had different views on certain things but with the important things we shared a mutual understanding. The passion she had for her work and for life was just so inspiring. She was always encouraging and uplifting but she also kept me in check when I needed to be. Being far from her most of our relationship taught me a lot patience but I knew she was gonna be worth it in the end. Beauty, brains, spirituality. She was everything you could ever ask for in a girl. We made plans for the future. Everything just seemed so right. We went through a lot to get to where we were. Then one day it started going downhill. And it went downhill fast, like riding a bike with no breaks. She left me. See the thing about women is that even when they think they’ve got something great, they’re always looking for more. I ended up not being good enough. My care and love for her wasn’t enough. She told me she wasn’t even really in love with me, but that she thought she was just because I treated her right. I guess she found someone else that treated her right and shared certain interests. Women are masters of disguise. They’re manipulative, sneaky people. They portray themselves as people who really honestly care for you and want to make you happy and want to be with you. They tell you things and make you really believe that they’re it. They make you really believe that you’re both in love. Then when they’ve got all the good out of you, its like they pull the rug right out from under your feet and you fall down the stairs. Crippled and unable to move.. then you don’t want to do anything or see anyone. You just want to die because it’s no different than living with a dismal state of mind. Everyone says, “oh don’t worry, there’ll be other girls.” Yes, there will be other girls.. but there won’t be another her. I’m not gonna find better. I know what I want and I know what I had in her.. I know what I lost. She was the closest person to me, the person I trusted most with anything. That’s why I gave her my heart.. then she tossed it out the window. I won’t ever be able to trust again.. I won’t ever be able to love the same again. That’s why I titled this “Love is for chumps.” You believe in love, you’re bound to get played. Now dont get me wrong, for those of you that think you’ve got it, more power to you. Good luck. Just dont let your guards down, it’ll screw you in the end. But for people like me that put everything into something just to lose it all. Yeah, I’m not down to take that chance again. I was in a fight for love, now im fighting so hard to resist losing myself in all of this. When depression hits, it hits really hard. But you cant help it when literally everything can remind you of her in some way. Whether it be a conversation you guys had, or a place you went, or a thing you liked.. it sucks being able to relate so many different things to eachother.. because it shows how massive of a part she was in your life. You think about the future and you picture her in it every time. It makes me so sad. How much someone who claimed to love you could hurt you so bad. Love is for chumps. It’s like a double-sided coin, a fixed deck, or loaded dice. You really think you have a good or equal chance to come out victorious but in reality, its just a game you’re bound to lose.. Don’t fall for it.
